[Désastre Corporel]

Month

May 2012

2 posts

“She never gives a straight answer, always hiding behind a curtain of vague words and round about phrases. She walks in circles, always just out of reach. They call her manipulative, evasive, always twisting what people say to suit her needs, but she’s not like that, not really. She just doesn’t know how not to speak in riddles, how not to build mazes and paradoxical labyrinths with every word she say, because it’s so ingrained into every fiber of her being. It’s a defense mechanism, really, more than anything. When people attack her, when they laugh and scoff at her, she withdraws within herself ans spits out sentences that seem to mean everything and nothing all at once. It’s a defense mechanism, because if they can’t find her behind the haziness she’s constructed around herself, they can’t touch her, can’t even hurt her, even if sometimes they’re right when they call her pretentious or false or deceitful. It’s hard to tell which started the other, if she’s like this because they pick apart at her or if they scratch at her until her heart bleeds because she makes mazes. her life is something of a web of intricacies just like her speech, but she doesn’t know how to do differently, doesn’t know how to stop.” —Isabella Sunday (via suavium)
May 12, 20121,569 notes
Sick with Silver

tracing patterns like blooddrips

down my face i wonder

where you are/who you’re with/

what’s the air like where you are

and i sit up, shivering in the stale night air,

and i weep;

for you,

for your heart,

for my discarded future.



tracing patterns like fresh slices

down my arms, i wonder;

who i am,

who i was,

who i am supposed to be.

i clutch my knees

the beginnings of hyperventilation

as panic seizes me 

in her manic unforgiving grasp.

who am i, i, who writes?

who am i, i, who binds?

who am i, i, who screams?



tracing patterns like chalk outlines

on the tile, i idly wonder,

wonder,

wonder, 

how i dare to even speak,

dare to dream of such impossibilities—

and yes, impossible they are, never

to come,

never to be,

always a distant torment,

gnawing at my rapidly diminishing frame.



tracing patterns idly

defrosting thin glass, i wonder;

how could i play the fool?

the voracious devourer of knowledge,

suddenly the clown, the softspoken

idiot

in your 

wake.



shakeshimmer eyes haunting me

a shade of silver i will never see.

the blood of some undiscovered creature,

all teeth and claws

and soft, poisonous promises

that go stale as soon

as sunrise.

May 10, 20121 note
#vomit-youth
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